Kings, Countries, and Christmas

Kings, Countries, and Christmas

It’s coming around to that time of year where everyone turns to thoughts of gift giving and generosity. This isn’t simple coincidence. It is a direct link to the holiday that gives the season its name; a holiday that has in many ways been twisted and perverted by commercialism to gain as much revenue as possible. And yet beneath all the trappings, commercials, decorations, and treats there remains the idea of something strange and amazing happening. There clings to the days a sense of magic and wonder in what would otherwise be considered the bleakest of seasons, and it is this wonder and awe that inspires gifts freely given to family and strangers alike.

The wonder is that Emmanuel came into the world. That the spaceless and timeless God fit himself into a mortal body to live in this place of dirt and famine, wars and intrigue. Many people have quit social media sites because the burden of dealing with other people’s unfiltered opinions and emotions causes to much strain for a health life. And God, who is apart, who is holy, who is perfect, chose to immerse himself in that humankind. He didn’t do it for the amusing qualities of mankind. He did it to save us.

To anyone who has celebrated the advent before or attended Sunday school, this is not new information. In some cases, it may even be a bit tarnished and drab with unimaginative retelling. But that isn’t the point I’m going after here.

My point is that God came into the world to save men from the destruction they wrought with their own hands. Everything we have, from the next heartbeat to the homes we live in and our families are from God. We own nothing. It seems natural then to give away what we have at this time of year, as a sort of offering, and nod in the direction of the one who makes life possible.

And then… what?

Do we go back on December 26^th to protesting immigration, to wishing that the homeless wouldn’t set up their tents in our towns, to spouting caustic opinions about how right we are and how wrong others are?

Deuteronomy 10:18-19 “He [God] executes justice for the orphan and the widow and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and clothing. So show your love for the alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt.”

Unless I’m much mistaken, this verse doesn’t apply to a particular time of year. This is a direction for how to treat people… all the time. But what if we allow people into our country, our city, our lives that don’t believe as we do? What if crime rates go up? What if we have to pay more taxes to support them? What if, what if. There’s no end to the possibilities. And none of them matter because what we have isn’t ours. This country, no matter who runs it or what the economy looks like, isn’t ours any more than Babylon belonged to Daniel or Nebuchadnezzar. Our jobs, our land, our food, our money, our healthcare: they aren’t ours. And until we acknowledge that, Christmas and all its wonder is going to remain inextricably linked to this one season and the rush of holiday shopping; that one day, shared with a man in a red suit; and fit into a neat little box so it can’t effect the rest of our lives and the rest of the world.

“Self-righteous religion is always marked by insensitivity to issues of social justice, while true faith is marked by profound concern for the poor and marginalized” (Keller, 2018, p 61).

Rather than worrying about what we could lose, I would love to see us separate ourselves from the individual mindset so popular in the West and start to think about what others could gain. What if we gave up some of our prejudice and worked with people on the other side who wanted to help people? What if we stopped letting the media or the politicians draw our lines for us? What if we refused to be separated from the work that God gave us?

What if Advent wasn’t just these few weeks in December, but a year-long recognition of the fact that Jesus Christ has in fact arrived and is working here still?

Keller, T. (2018) The Reason for God. New York, New York: Penguin Random House LLC.

Loose Lips and Sinking Ships

In the middle of chaos, the swirling fires of political arguments and fierce battles online between combatants that feel comfortable using insults they would never actually use face to face, I think it’s time we remember that we as Christians have a hope that it is impossible for anyone else in the world to understand.

Make no mistake about this, the world and the culture it has built is a sinking ship, and I believe that everyone on that ship instinctively knows that they are going down. This explains their desperation to hold onto anything and everything that might save them, even if that only happens to be the nearest handrail of the doomed vessel.

Those of us who have chosen to step into the life rafts can find it ridiculous, I know, that those still on the ship don’t just step off and join us in safety. But the handrails have become their only source of strength, as far as they are concerned, we are heading out into empty waters in a storm, and if they come with us they will be drowned. They don’t see where we are going. It is impossible that they should.

Now, we could crawl onto the sinking ship and try to pry their death grip from the handrail, but that isn’t advisable for many reasons, the first of which being that once we leave the safety of the lifeboat, we risk being sucked into the same terror and chaos that is swallowing every other soul on board. We are, after all, only human. The second reason is that those who know they are drowning are notorious for fighting desperately to survive, so desperately that they will take anyone near them down with them.

If we refuse the enter the fray, then what? Do we simply watch as the ship goes down and say good riddance? That is an option that some have chosen, but there are better options than either joining in the chaos or watching it without intervening.

First, we pray. Yes, simple, I know. There is only one person who can convince someone to release their death grip on the world, and—surprise—it isn’t me or you or any other human being. So it might be wise of us to enlist God’s help first and foremost.

Second, we take a deep breath…and then another, until that clenching of your jaw and that burning in your soul doesn’t make you want to strangle someone. And we must remind ourselves that no matter how brilliant our apologetics, we can’t argue someone into letting go of the world. Never, ever, ever. As Alexander MacLaren put it, “You cannot argue a man into loving God, any more than you can hammer a rosebud open.” So put aside all your weighty words and superior reasoning skills and start praying again.

Third, after grounding yourself in prayer and God, start thinking about throwing out some life preservers. While you can’t make anyone let go of the handrail, you can be sure that there is a life preserver in their vicinity if they ever do choose to let go on their own. What do life preservers look like, you ask? They look something like being the person at work who genuinely cares about their colleagues. Rather than getting ready to start an argument with anyone who disagrees with your beliefs, it looks like being the one who chooses their words with patience and wisdom…and knows when just to keep their mouth shut. It looks like being the one who notices when someone is hurting or in trouble. It looks like speaking words of beauty and life when everyone else is devolving into criticism and anger. And it looks like courtesy, respect and fighting for justice for the vulnerable and broken rather than trampling them underfoot in a righteous agenda. In short, sending out a life preserver looks like a lot of prayer through every aspect of your day, because you realize if you let go, you’ll be sinking yourself.

As a side note, this doesn’t mean we never fight. It doesn’t mean that we ignore injustice or allow abuse to continue. It just means we don’t fight about it with people at work. We don’t joi in destructive riots to “make a point” about whatever it is we want to make a point about. We just do it. If we don’t believe something is right, we don’t talk about it. We move to change it and support others who are doing the same.

Impressions of Mosul through the Eyes of an Observer

Bombs drop through hazy air
Onto streets already full of rubble
On homes and people
Huddled together inside walls
That fall and shatter and turn to dust
While outside the battle rages
They remain
Prisoners of their own law
Turned sour and rancid
Destroying hope and peace
In one swift move
The bullets fly
Across the water
A girl stumbles to the ground
The air, hot and dry,
Fills with smoke and sand
Thick as the choking lies
That make these men despise each other
Each life
And here is the safe place
Built on the rock
Creating a beachhead 
Untouchable, irrefragable
On the plains of Nineveh
The temporary is shaking to pieces
As the bombs fall
And only the permanent remains

Begging for Questions

Currently, I am living in a setting where I have known no one for more than a few days. This is an intensely uncomfortable place for me to be, because there is the constant fear of being misunderstood, that my rather dry and sometimes stupid wit will cause offense instead of laughter. The longer I am here the more I am realizing that I have not made it a habit to get to know people outside of my core group of friends.

I am a genius at small talk, but I rarely go any farther than just listening to whatever story they want to tell me. This has been a consistent trend in my life. I am not a person who requires a large group of friend. In fact, I feel the strains of required socialization quite keenly at times.

However, as I do feel I have been called by God to this location to be used as a witness not just for my medical skills, I've attempted to formulate a plan for getting to know people at more than a superficial level. For many, I realize, this may come naturally, and it may be helpful for you to know that some of us struggle, and it isn't because we don't care. If anything I think it is because once I really connect with someone I will never be able to stop caring about them. Love brings pain. They are inextricably connected. You cannot care about someone deeply without feeling what they feel, without being hurt when they are hurt or damaged when they tears themselves away. And this is a pain, or a risk of pain, that I have trained myself to be very good at avoiding.

Onward then to what I mean to do about this unacceptable fear. The question I really want the answer to is this: "What's your story? Who are you?"

This is a phrase that I always mean to use, and never quite do. Possibly because I'm terrified of what people might tell me, that it won't be something that I can respond to in the right way, or that it will irrevocably bond me to them in a way that maybe I don't want to be bound. 

And yet, without knowing someone's story, there is no real opening for relationship, any friendship is based only on what may be seen as common interests, as flimsy as a paper doll.

I am as guilty of not wanting to answer this question as I am of not asking it. The few times that people have really sat down and asked me to tell them about myself, my first defense is deflection and humor and a desperate hope that they will leave me alone inside my shell because it's pretty comfortable in here. Perhaps, another reason I don't ask is precisely because I don't wish to make anyone else feel that discomfort.

There is, however, a certain type of persistent person, who continues to look at me with questioning eyes after my first few attempts at throwing up a decoy. And it isn't until that moment that I actually start thinking about answering the question. I feel this isn't entirely a fair question either. It doesn't give any hint of what the asker is looking for in a response, and while it may simply be an accurate reflection of their interest in you as a person, it is entirely daunting to be expected to sum up your whole life in a coffee break or lunch. In order to give a little direction to the conversation, it might be easier to start with this question instead:

"What do you love?"

This question I think would be easier to answer as it has more defined limits than the expectation that several decades of experience could be condensed in any kind of articulate way. And it would, therefore, be easier for me to ask. Although, it could do with a decent segue. Again, it isn't often asked in my experience, but if you know what a person loves, it gives you a strong idea of who that person is and what is the best way to communicate with them. Some people love writing, or music, or art, or hiking, sailing, their families, holidays, working with disabled children, tutoring, speaking in front of crowds, or lying in the sun. I may be using the word love a bit too lightly here, but it's stronger than just a sense of 'what do you like to do'. These are things that bring solace to the soul. It might be better phrased as 'what do you think is the best thing in life?'

"What makes you angry/breaks your heart?"

This would be even easier for me to answer than the previous question, and once again, easier to ask. I have answered this questions, at least in part, in many of my other writings, and say nothing more about it, except that it is a question anyone can answer with, hopefully, very little set up.

I don't think this connection thing is a problem I face alone. There is a lack of honest dialogue in the world. And the fact is that it does require work, and you do take a risk in any kind of connection with another person. Culture in America has become one that teaches that discomfort is to be avoided at all costs, that pain is bad, and that simply is not true. As I said before pain is attached to love, to caring for anyone else. It is only through discomfort and uncertainty that we can press on to overcome challenges to create connections, to learn new skills, and ultimately fulfill our purpose as ambassadors of God in this world. If I dare not love the people around me, then what makes me think I might be capable of loving God?

"But Much-Afraid, I have already warned you that Love and pain go together, for a time at least. If you would know Love, you must know pain too." 

-- The Shepherd in Hind's Feet on High Places 

by Hannah Hurnard

Stories and Storytellers

In all stories, we are told by our high school and college writing professors, there must be a core element of truth. You can only expect the reader to suspend reality for so long before they lose interest if the story becomes unreliable. This means that although you can have unlikely devices and twisted plot lines and magic and zombies, the characters who use such devices, traverse the plot lines and defeat magic-zombies must always act in a way that is realistic. In other words, in a way that we as people who have been studying the way other people react all of our lives will find believable. So a man who has never in his life forgiven anyone for a slight cannot suddenly forgive some young woman just because it helps a romance along. There must be a catalyst, a force of change, something that is believable because it holds to reality.

To switch tracks a bit, let’s assume you are a person living during the height of the Roman Empire. In this time period, it was not unreasonable to assume that a god or goddess might step down to earth and dally with humans. This is primarily because said gods and goddesses had extremely human traits, quarrels and jealousies. They were, in fact, little more than immortal humans. And they were born of stories created by human minds, following the very important laws of storytelling to make them believable and relatable.

However, if you are talking about God, and not gods—if you were Jewish (which you most likely were if you were a monotheist in those days) the assumption that God would come down and live among men was another proposition entirely. We are talking about God here—the one who laid the stars in place and spread out the oceans, who stores thunder and lightning and fights in pillars of fire. He held all of the supposed power of the Olympians combined and even more.

King Solomon the wisest man who ever lived did not believe that it was possible. He said, “But will God indeed live on earth with man? Even heaven, the highest heaven cannot contain you, much less this temple I have built.” (2 Chron. 6:18)

So when we tell the story of God coming down to earth we must see that it is not a story that a human mind, who understood the vast power of God, could imagine telling. It doesn’t hold to reality. It is not expected. It isn’t simply a plot twist, it is a twist of the very fabric of the world—this thought that God could consent to be a companion of men, to put on flesh and blood and time itself—the God who created TIME, submitting himself in so many ways to his own creation. It is fantastic and unearthly.

This is not a story that anyone who believed in the one, true God would dare to create on his own. It’s too impossible.

Truth became infinitely stranger than fiction on the day Jesus was born.

And yet, it isn’t strange at all if you consider that God loves humans. Because love is a catalyst, a game-changer. Love explains deeds that would otherwise appear irrational (and perhaps sometimes they still are). God proved his love by sending his son, and up until that point it was not something that man could comprehend—God’s love. Now it is. He put it into context for us. He told a story that we with our limited human understanding could never create on our own, but one that we could believe.

“…One will come from you to be rule over Israel for Me,

His origin is from antiquity, from eternity.” (Micah 5:2)

Battle Plan

This life is meant to be an adventure, a dangerous quest to traverse the lands of darkness and rescue the lost citizens who live beneath the tyranny of a fierce and hungry dragon. This is not fantasy. It's reality. We have a responsibility, as those who can see, as those who are armored and equipped, not only to save ourselves, but to save as many of those around us as we possibly can.

But somewhere along the way, the logistics of this battle have become muddle with politics. We have started caring so much about us and them that we haven't been able to realize that they are us. We are no different. Hard as it is to see, there is only one enemy, and he isn't the man with the gun, or the man demanding that no one have guns.

The importance of our quest has been downplayed, its necessity doubted, and its soldiers mocked. At some point in time, the illusions of shadows have convinced many that life out there isn't nearly so dangerous as we thought, and it's no business of ours in any case what someone else does with their life as long as we are living our own correctly. This ignores the fact that we can't be living our own lives correctly, unless we care deeply about saving other people.

If someone has been snatched up by the dragon, and you manage to grab their hand, it matters a great deal to you whether they will try to pull themselves free or simply let go. And this is exactly the sort of thing we are dealing with in this quest.

It isn't about opinions. It's about lives.

It is time, far past time, to sharpen our swords, wipe away the rust, and call the dragon out to do battle. We cannot be beaten. There is absolutely no chance that we can lose, and in such a case, attack is the only battle plan. So let us attack. Let us attack the strongholds of darkness that have captured those who are dear to us, let us knock down the towers and walls that keep people enslaved to the dark. With our hands and with our words let us build up foundations of light and love in the power of faith to illuminate this land.

We don't have much time. Someday, perhaps someday soon, our quest will end, and we will leave it to the next generation. They must be equipped well. They must have experience in seeing us fight, or they won't have any idea what to do with the sword when it is handed to them.

This quest is not about us. It isn't even about conquering the dragon...he's already been dealt a fatal blow from which he will never recover. It is about people, the people in the dark. So let us fight for them as we would fight for our best friend and never stop caring.

For the night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.

Romans 13:12

For you are all children of the light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness.

1 Thessalonians 5:5

Girl Talk

Women, from childhood, desire to be loved. We want to be treasured and defended. We want to be fought for. We want to be pursued. 

This is important because the longing to be loved drives so many of the choices we as women make, and if we are not absolutely grounded in this area, it can entirely wreck our lives.

The world has so many ways to deceive us on this. It tells women that we don't need to be loved. That we can be strong and independent and self-sufficient and that is after all so much safer than putting our heart out there to get trampled. But this idea can't hold on all the time, because, let's face it, we as women are never in the same mood for very long no matter how very hard we try.

The world is prepared for this. So when we realize the loneliness in independence, it says that the only way to be entirely safe is to maintain complete control. Every ad and glamour magazine entices to use our beauty and sex appeal to control the men around us. As if lust were a fitting substitute for love.

And then, just for fun, when both of the first options have failed to deliver that life-long security that we were hoping for, the world adds the last dash to this deadly recipe by assuring us that we aren't worth being loved anyway. The only way to get someone to love us is to earn it. We get hurt, used and trample, and swing back around to option number one, swearing that we don't need anyone anyway.

No where in this sick cycle is there a hint of hope or true love. But the more desperate we get, the faster we run through each option. There are so many pitfalls along the way it's amazing any of us ever get out alive.

The Truth is this: No one can be strong and self-sufficient forever; manipulation leads to pain; and we are, every one of us, worth being loved. We are valuable. We are treasures.

You can never make anyone love you. It doesn't matter how clever or pretty you are, but you don't have to.

Whether you are fourteen or eighty-four, here is the most important piece of life-saving information that I can ever give:

You are loved.

You don't have to earn it from anyone. You don't have to protect yourself from it. You don't have to dress or act a certain way. You are loved, for who you are, unconditionally and forever.

Fairytales are full of men, usually princes---apparently, there used to be an abundance of them---accomplishing impossible tasks for the hand of a princess. Because, as we all are well aware, action proves love far more than any words could ever do. You, my dear, are that princess.

Let me tell you your story.

Once upon a time, there was a great king who ruled over all the land. Although the king was good and kind and absolutely just, the land was cursed with rebels who did as they pleased and treated the citizens of the kingdom with disdain. The prince of the kingdom, who was as good and kind as his father, fell in love with a girl in the kingdom. The rebels, hearing this news, were greatly disturbed and determined to destroy the girl in order to hurt the prince and overthrow the kingdom. As in all good fairytales, the prince did the impossible. He broke through the houses of the rebels and defeated death itself to keep it from stealing his love away. Then he returned triumphant to his father's house with his bride at his side.

If this sounds like your kind of fairytale, if you're tired of trying to earn someone's love or attention, if you're heartbroken and exhausted, there is hope.

Because Jesus Christ defeated death for you, and he wants to bring you home to his father. If you are looking to fall in love, fall in love with him. You will never regret it.

Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you

Isaiah 43:4

Rails

Beliefs are the rails upon which our lives run.
We almost always act according to what we really believe.
It doesn't matter much what we say we believe or what we want others to think we believe...
That is why behavior is such a good indicator of a person's beliefs.
 - J.P. Moreland

   This made me stop and ask myself: what do I really believe? I know what I want to believe or what I say I believe, but if I look at my actions, what do they say I believe? The answer makes me want to flinch, because if I'm honest with myself, it's more than a little painful.

    If I truly believe a loving God is in complete control, not only of the universe but of my life individually, and if I completely trust him to take care of me and to work for the best in line with his perfect will, then I will be secure in where I am and what I am doing. I will not panic at unexpected circumstances, because I will know that while they were unexpected to me, God was not surprised, and his plan is still working as it should. I will not complain, because I would realize that the best growth comes through hard times and difficult situations, and, of course, that complaining never helped anything anyway. I will not cry out at the unfairness of life or lose myself in self-pity, because I won't be focusing on myself, I'll be looking to God. If I truly believe...

   But I do panic, I do complain, I do spend far too many nights crying because I'm alone, and life just isn't fair---and---and---

   So what do I believe? According to my actions, I believe that God cares about big things and great works, like countries and salvation, but not my every day, individual life. That somehow, in the midst of everything, I was forgotten, because I'm not important enough to merit the kind of attention that say, a missionary or civil rights leader, anyone with a more important calling than mine, would get. That because I'm not where I wanted to be, God must not care.

   And that's wrong. I know it's wrong. If God didn't care about normal, individual people, then none of my faith would make sense at all. It is my fault that my expectations were not where God wanted them to be. My fault and not God's that I was not prepared for my life to end up where it is. My fault that I don't look to him when I need help rather than looking down at the mire and bewailing my unlucky state. But how can I change beliefs that I didn't even know I had? I already know the truth. That isn't the issue. But how do I take what I know is true and make it what my heart (or my kidney, if you want to be Biblically accurate) believes?

   If beliefs are rails, then to change my beliefs, I'm going to have to do some heavy lifting. I'm going to need rails and ties, reason and time and a lot of prayer, and every time I start rolling down the tracks, I'm going to have to consciously move the switch, to say "I believe, help my unbelief!", to remind myself about what I know, until what I know is what I believe, and what I believe is what I do.

1. J.P. Moreland, "Living Smart," in Passionate Conviction: Contemporary Discourses on Christian Apologetics, ed. Paul Copan et al. (Nashville: B&H Publishing Group, 2007), 25.

Faith Is...

Faith is a word that is overused and, much like love, has lost its potency in the repetition. For many people, I believe it has become a vague, amorphous word used to describe anything from a general belief that things will turn out as they are fated to turn out to a belief in a random higher power to the conviction that the Christian God exists and works in our lives.

Those of us who are Christians are, I think, in danger of accepting this word, faith, in its watered-down version even when we read it in God's word. For instance, Hebrews 11, the famous Hall of Faith chapter begins, "Now faith is being sure of things hope for, the conviction of things not seen." This seems hopeful and happy and secure, but can you see it's power?

                Now faith is [being sure] of things hoped for...

[the assurance]

[the confidence]

[the substance]

[the basis]

[the substructure]

[the essence]

[the reality]

Hebrews 11:1

Faith is the most solid possible conviction that what we have placed our hope in is the truth and nothing less. 

Our faith is not simply a vague feeling or idea that what we believe is true. It is, in fact, the very evidence that unseen things do exist, that what we hope for is reality.

Faith is not something we come across on our own. It does not spring from rational arguments and scientific proofs. Although both can be useful in supporting faith they cannot cause it. We can have faith only because the Holy Spirit has graced us with the knowledge that God is real and merciful. And for this reason, our faith is not ungrounded, or irrational, a simple delusion that what we might wish to happen will be. Rather, by its very existence, our true faith is the proof that God is real and wishes us to know him.

It is not, by far, the only proof that God exists. But it is by far the most personal and convincing.

    "And without faith is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

Hebrews 11:6

This verse implies that two things must be present in true faith: the belief that God exists, not just any god, but our God as shown in the scripture, and the belief that he will reward us for seeking him. If either of these two beliefs is missing, then what we have no reason to hope for what we hope for (i.e. eternal life, salvation, mercy). If God does not exist, then he cannot save us. If he does not reward us for seeking him, then there is no point to trying because judgement will be meted out as he pleases without regard for our relationship with him.

There was another thing in this verse that struck me strongly, though I already knew it. Our drawing near pleases God. He isn't simply standing there, impersonally handing out trophies like a judge at a track meet. He is pleased to see us. Our desire for him brings him joy. He wants us to be close to him. And the way we get close to God is by that very faith with which he has blessed us!

Faith is not vague, it is not superstition, it is not irrational. Faith is the most valuable proof we have of God's love, and it should not be watered-down lest we forget just how powerful a tool we have by the grace of God. Soli Deo Gloria.

"And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets---who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight." - Hebrews 11:32-34

Hijacked

It has taken me a while to realize that the way I react to things happening in my life is not necessarily the way that I want to act. Given a calm environment, I know that my reason works competently enough that I could make a reasonable decision. However, add a little stress, a little hunger, a little sleep-loss and/or a whole blender-full of hormones and, suddenly, my reason becomes overwhelmed. Bad decisions aren't necessarily seen as good; they just aren't seen as decisions at all. In fact, I react as if I had no choice but to react as I do. And that is completely untrue. I don't have to react in any way, because I am a rational (mostly) human being who has the capability of making good decisions even if I am stressed or hungry or tired. So why don't I?

To put it simply, my brain has been hijacked...by my past decisions. The brain is very impressionable, and it assumes once you've done something several times that that is how you would always like to do it. It lays down the imprint, creates a map and starts traveling the same road until the ruts become trenches, then canyons. When this comes to things like riding a bike, tying your shoes or being able to drive to work without having to consciously think about what you're doing, this ability to maintain nueropathways is quite useful. When it comes to reacting badly to a slow driver, or stressing over work, or really any number of situations where I let my emotions take over...it's not so good.

The good news is that my mind (being a separate entity that controls the actual physical brain in a way that still mystifies scientists) is capable of retraining my brain so that the decisions that I make impulsively are good rather than...not so good. In order to do this, however, I have to be able to stop, realize that my brain is getting ready to plummet down that canyon road, and pull it over to another path before that happens. Sometimes, this feels very much like wrestling the wheel away from hijackers (emotional hijackers, who have some really good arguments and some really poor impulse control), and I think how much easier it would be just to let things run toward gravity. Easier, yes. Better, no.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Galatians ends the list of the fruit of the spirit with self-control. After all, if I am constantly working at being loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle and faithful, then I will have self-control. I will forge new paths to become roads that will turn into highways themselves. And I will be much more difficult to hijack.

Shine

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain."

Philippians 2:14-16

European Space Agency & NASA

 

This has never really been my favorite verse. As a child, it was liberally quoted to me by my parents, usually when I was complaining, which did not in all honesty make me any more likely to appreciate the truth of it. It's akin to the "children, obey your parents" verse that was also frequently referenced in my childhood. However, looking past all that, I've been thinking about this verse more and more recently.

I notice that Paul didn't write, "Do everything at home without grumbling," or "do not have disputes with your fellow Christians." He was, in fact, a little more broad in his instructions. And no matter how I look at it "all things" comes down to mean, basically, everything. Everything. So if I get stuck with an unfair assignment at work, or I have to stay late, or I'm in the long line at the grocery store and the lady in front of me can't figure out how to use her credit card, or I have to wait three hours for an oil change...those are all situations included in everything. In short, Paul is telling them to have a lifestyle where complaining simply does not exist...at all. The end result being that we shine.

Why? Because complaining is easy. Far easier for me than keeping my mouth shut and smiling.

So I tried it. I mean, I consciously decided I wasn't going to complain about anything at work. And, guess what? Life was so much easier. It wasn't that the situation was any better. I certainly could have used more help than I got, but somehow, it didn't matter as much as it usually does. I found that having made the decision, I turned to God more throughout the day, rather than just letting things ride.

It's amazing to me how I can have the attention, love and help of the God of the universe, who is beyond time and space, and I forget to ask him to work in me. Not just once or twice. I consistently forget that he is behind every good thing that I want to do, every worthwhile effort that I make. I don't think it's pride that makes me think I can get through on my own, because I know when I think about it, that I can't do it by myself. I do think it's habit. I have spent so much time focusing on myself, that I automatically look to myself for strength. And it just isn't there.

The best way to stop a bad habit is to replace it with a new one. So here it is. "Rejoice in the Lord always: again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7




 

Impossible Grace

What grace is this that saves me, unworthy, from the storm?
What love is this that finds me, lost and rebellious, in the deepest darkness?
What hope that shows me a future beyond all imagining and desperate longing?
Who is this that offers such refreshment to my soul, such rest to my weary spirit?

It is my Lord, and him alone. Nothing else will suffice once truth has been tasted, for all the world goes to ashes around me when I look to him. Everything is shaken, but that one, who holds me and covers me with the corner of his great cloak. To him I must cling or be lost, I think. And failing again, I feel that his arms are holding me, safe though I try to wander, though my eyes are caught by pretty things, my heart by things not so pretty, my mind by ideas that run rampant instead of held captive to truth.

This is grace, impossible
This is love, unstoppable
This is hope, undying
My Lord, my God, my Love is faithful beyond eternity

"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you..." "For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling..." "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is your. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all." "He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." "But we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed, but those who have faith and preserve their souls." "...for our God is a consuming fire." "...who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time." "And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price."

Refuge

Have you ever heard that saying "He doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain?" As a rule, this is not a compliment. Usually, it's used to describe a person we find to be exceptionally dense or lacking in the most basic of common sense. Then I wondered, how often am I like that?

The Psalms are full of references to taking refuge in the Lord. 

Psalm 37:39-40 

"The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him."

Psalm 9:9

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Psalm 18:30

This God--his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

And there are many references in the other books of the Bible speaking to the Lord being a refuge, stronghold, rock and shelter. But what good is such a shelter to me if I choose to stand outside in the rain and cry? What use is the best fortress if I won't go inside and seek protection from the one who owns it?

So often, I think, I see the storm building, and rather than running inside and watching through fire-lit windows, I choose to stand there and sulk about the rain and cold. Oh, praise the Lord, who saves even the souls of those who don't have enough sense to walk through open doors! Praise the Lord, who comes out to meet me in the storm and carries me into the light!

Grace Notes

Let my life be a melody to my king
Full of the harmony of love and peace
Graced with notes of joy

Sometimes, as today, I wonder how I can spend so much of my life effectively blind to what God has done. He is not simply the creator of the universe, masters of stars and nebulae and black holes that spin the galaxies into shape. He braids he laws of physics around his fingers, and without him, nothing would hold together. Surely that is splendid, but it does not touch my heart.

Mystic Mountain - NASA

The earth itself is beautiful with a splendor that sometimes takes my breath away, when clouds edged silver by sunlight wrap the verdant green of the mountains against the bluest of skies, when the wildflowers sway in the field like summer's confetti, or the ocean rolls, full of light and dark and salt. It is beautiful and this does, in its way, touch my heart, but nature cannot save me, cannot fill me.

Photo by Michael Gabler

Then there are people, wonderful, beautiful people, who touch my life for good or ill, who take my heart and fill my hours. But they are flawed, as selfish as I am, as incapable of understanding and as deaf of heart at times. And though I love them, they cannot save me.

The Arena in Arles - Van Gogh

But, my God, not only has he saved me, but he has given me back my ability to enjoy everything else he has done. Because I am saved, I can love those who hurt me. Because I am filled with his joy and his strength and his peace, I cannot look at the sky and be struck breathless with awe at the beauty of what my God has created. Because I am loved, I can examine the laws that hold this universe together and see the glory of my Father. Everything I see, I see because he has put it there.

But I forget. Sometimes, I see the stars and do not remember what holds them in their places, I look on the mountains as only a feature of the land, and I see people as untrustworthy and not worth my time. This should not be possible, and yet, I have proved every day that it is so. So I pray today that my eyes will be opened and never closed to what my God has done, to his tremendous love and his faithfulness more constant that the sun. I pray that I will sing out the love of my God with every action, that, though there be grace notes, there will be no rests in my song.

Soul-honey

Proverbs 24:13-14

My son, eat honey, for it is good, 

and the drippings of the honeycomb 

are sweet to your taste.

Know that wisdom is such to your soul; 

if you find it, there will be a future, 

and your hope will not be cut off.

This passage caught my attention today. Partly because I think "soul-honey" is an awesome word combination. I also did a little research. It turns out that honey isn't just a tasty treat. When applied to wounds as a balm, honey acts as a slow-release form of hydrogen peroxide, preventing infection--without the burn of pure hydrogen peroxide. It also has antioxidant and anti-inflammatory effects. Of course, none of this was known when this verse was written. I love finding out how the Bible proves it can be trusted in even the smallest ways.

It isn't a great leap to carry the metaphor to wisdom and the soul. Wisdom is antibacterial in that keeps organisms that start out small like greed, lust and anger from taking root and growing into great infections. It is also antioxidant in that it prevents slow, unnoticed decay of plain, seemingly harmless laxness that can ultimately lead to cancerous growths. Finally, wisdom is anti-inflammatory in its effects. "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." Prov. 19:11

Having decided that wisdom is definitely worth finding: where to find it? We don't exactly have wisdom-combs (wisdom-hives?) hanging from every tree--or actually any that I know of, but Job 28 has a great poetic description of trying to find wisdom, and I would highly recommend reading the whole thing. These, however, are the highlights. Verses 12-15 state, "But where shall wisdom be found? And where is the place of understanding? Man does not know its worth, and it is not found in the land of the living. The deep says, 'It is not with me,' and the sea says, 'It is not with me.' It cannot be bought for gold, and silver cannot be weighed as its price." It seems someone who is genuinely seeking this miracle cure for the soul might at this point start getting worried. Fortunately, Job doesn't leave us hanging for long. Verse 23 says, "God understands the way to it, and he knows its place." And the chapter ends with, "Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding."

Proverbs also has a lot to say about wisdom, often using a female personification to show what wisdom is and what it decidedly is not. Getting wisdom isn't always easy. Just as getting honey from a beehive isn't easy. It takes preparation, dedicated study and the right tools, but it is definitely worth the effects.

Beehive

Photo courtesy of Vards Uzvards

Living, the Dream

I am living in a dream

Only glimpses of the true life come through

And I question why what I see doesn't make sense

As I lay with my eyes closed

And my spirit caged inside this shell

Perception is distorted by the viewpoint

The fractured pieces are poor imitations

Mirror-images of what will be

Spiraling through a sleeping mind

But beyond there is the one

The truth that has saved

To see him

I must open my eyes

Wake from this dream

Fly from this cage

And

I am not afraid

Because the truth that has leaked through

Into my sleeping mind

Is far greater than this dream that I am living

Quasar

When I was in high school, a band called the Smalltown Poets sang a song with these lyrics: There must be something else that all of this revolves around / I appear so small and barely make a sound / Still mysterious these frequencies they draw you out / Looking for some light, see what I'm all about / The rest of them are stars / I'm a quasar.

This caught my attention, as it may have yours, because quasar isn't a word you hear in everyday conversation. To be as brief as possible, quasars are QUASi-stellAR radio sources. They surround black holes at the center of certain galaxies and emit massive amounts of light along with radio waves. They are the some of the most luminous objects in the known universe.

Quasar 3C 273

Now, back to the song.

Obviously, as Christians, our light should be drawing people to study us and ask what makes us shine so brightly. We should be quasars.

But that's easier said than done. Philippians 2:14-15 gives us some good guidelines for shining. "Do everything without grumbling and arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world." 

 This is a verse I was often (read very, very often) reminded of as a teenager. As sometimes happens, this repetition has led me to sort of ignore this verse for the most part. I definitely haven't given it as much thought as I should have in recent years. But now that I am thinking about it, wouldn't it be spectacular to be around someone who never complained or grumbled about anything? I'm not talking about false smiles and such, but what about someone who actually had that sort of attitude? Wouldn't that be awesome? Wouldn't that make you wonder what that person had going on that made them so capable of serenity? It would make me wonder. And I'm supposed to be a quasar.

Another thing of note about quasars is that they don't draw energy from within themselves. Unlike like stars, they aren't burning fuel that is packed inside them. Instead, as far as people can tell at this time, quasars emit light and radio waves as a result of gases swirling around and being inexorably drawn into the black hole. Gravity and massive amounts friction come into play as well as event horizons and other astronomical physics things. If you understand all the maths involved, I applaud you. As far as this illustration goes, however, it's only important to understand that something else powers the quasars. They aren't just out there burning brilliantly by themselves. In fact, if the black hole gives out, the quasar dissipates. So if we want to burn bright like quasars, we have to be close, event horizon close to the source of our power. The closer we get, the more light we will shine. And, like stars drawn to black holes and astronomers drawn to quasars, soon we will start pulling other people closer to our God.