On America

It’s Independence Day in small town USA. The country pride is high.

Outside my window, fireworks crack the sky open. I think of mortars falling, of distant and not-so-distant gunfire. Of countries where there is no such thing as independence. And I think that America is great. I also think that it has grown so great that it no longer remembers why this holiday is so important.

Americans like tout the word freedom as if it is the secret pass-phrase into a superhero hideout. We celebrate ourselves as victorious heroes who overcame great odds, but the truth is that, for a very long time, this country has not known what it is not to be free. It has forgotten what it is to be small, powerless, beleaguered and belittled. It has forgotten the days when those flashes and that rumbling were made by cannon and muskets of enemy forces coming across the fields. More importantly, it has forgotten why those battles were fought in the first place. Those revolutionary battles were not fought to give us a birthright to luxury, but to give people the chance to strive for a better life.

One would think that a better life would make a better kind of people, more gracious, kinder. But separation from hardship has inured this nation to freedom. The desperate huddled masses are forgotten apart from a few media feeding frenzies if they get the proper pathetic photo or have the right political slant for the day.

 Consequently, the days of expansive welcome that inspired the poem “The New Colossus” to be placed on the Statue of Liberty, have been forgotten in proportion. Commiseration and compassion have on many levels been abandoned for nationalism and an ugly, fierce pride in something that begins to look more and more dystopian with every passing year.

Perhaps, America will remain great in terms of size and political power. But is it good? And what, dear friends, will it take to make it better? Don’t look to politicians. Or soldiers. This isn’t truly a matter of immigration policy or gun control or even desegregation. Legislation is never going to fix what is wrong with this country. What is wrong lies inside our hearts, our minds, places sacred and intangible—in our very souls. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. And until we are able to look at people, any people, and see that their souls are no different than ours, that their children are no different than our children, then we will continue this downward spiral, desperately grasping at whatever we think we need to keep us afloat, never realizing that all of these things we cling to so greedily are what is weighing us down.

I long for my country to be good, noble and worthy. I want to be able to be proud to live here, not because the country is amazing, but because it is full of people who are truly trying to be great.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

THE NEW COLOSSUS

Emma Lazarus

Speaking Grace

As a single woman, I've been hurt time and again by things that people have said clearly not understanding the weight of their words in an area where I'm already struggling to be content. Things like "Why aren't you married yet?", "Are you looking for someone?", "What you need to do is...". But even more than that, it's the unspoken but overarching sense of "I understand you, because I was single once, but you couldn't possibly understand me, because you've never been married/don't have children/etc."

I'm certainly not the only one who feels this way. There are numerous posts and blogs from people in all walks and places in life dedicated to the idea of what someone should or should not say to someone else. However, I don't want this to turn into one of those rants. Because the bottom line is this: I can't control what anyone else says or does to me.

So, to avoid unnecessary irritation, I need to focus on how I talk to other people and how I respond to people who say things that are hurtful, either purposefully or inadvertently, or prying or just plain annoying.

This is where mercy comes in heaps and handfuls. It isn't always easy to overlook an offense, but it's a lot easier when we consider the offenses that God has not simply overlooked, but wiped clean on our part.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 

Notice this verse doesn't say anything about someone asking for forgiveness. It just says to do it. Give mercy.

But what if someone really did mean to hurt me? What if it was intentional and spiteful and they are always doing the same thing?

Fortunately, it's quite simple, whether the slight was intentional or not doesn't make the least bit of difference in how I am supposed to react to it. I have one response to learn and to learn well. Forgive them.

"To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?" 1 Corinthians 6:7

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

"For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." James 2:13

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 

1 Peter 4:8

So that deals with the side of things where I'm the victim, but what if I'm the offender? What if I inadvertently say something that gives offense? Obviously, the best option is to try to avoid that situation. In a world where opinions are given unwanted and often unneeded, it isn't a bad idea for me to slow down, stop imagining that my answers are going to save the world from imminent doom, and speak grace, relying on God to give me the words that particular someone needs to hear.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Colossians 4:6 

Impossible Grace

What grace is this that saves me, unworthy, from the storm?
What love is this that finds me, lost and rebellious, in the deepest darkness?
What hope that shows me a future beyond all imagining and desperate longing?
Who is this that offers such refreshment to my soul, such rest to my weary spirit?

It is my Lord, and him alone. Nothing else will suffice once truth has been tasted, for all the world goes to ashes around me when I look to him. Everything is shaken, but that one, who holds me and covers me with the corner of his great cloak. To him I must cling or be lost, I think. And failing again, I feel that his arms are holding me, safe though I try to wander, though my eyes are caught by pretty things, my heart by things not so pretty, my mind by ideas that run rampant instead of held captive to truth.

This is grace, impossible
This is love, unstoppable
This is hope, undying
My Lord, my God, my Love is faithful beyond eternity

"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you..." "For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling..." "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is your. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all." "He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." "But we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed, but those who have faith and preserve their souls." "...for our God is a consuming fire." "...who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time." "And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price."

Open Hands

I cannot serve with hands grasping tight,

Clenched behind my back to keep hold of

What I want, what I think I need, deserve, desire

Dross and broken dreams, ash and dust, useless

But mine, undeniably

Empty hands I would be of use to you

To soothe and rescue, to feed and defend

And so I would find my empty hands soul-filled

With grace and hope and love, spread with peace

Treasure, undeniable

Open my hands, my God, I hold them before you

Relax these stubborn fingers from my hold

Take these broken dreams

Take this pain, this doubt, this fear

These tears of self-made sorrow

Empty my hands, my King, I raise them to you

Fill them with grace

Not to be grasped, squeezed, owned

And so distorted and destroyed

But to be held loose and given free

Refuge

Have you ever heard that saying "He doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain?" As a rule, this is not a compliment. Usually, it's used to describe a person we find to be exceptionally dense or lacking in the most basic of common sense. Then I wondered, how often am I like that?

The Psalms are full of references to taking refuge in the Lord. 

Psalm 37:39-40 

"The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him."

Psalm 9:9

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Psalm 18:30

This God--his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

And there are many references in the other books of the Bible speaking to the Lord being a refuge, stronghold, rock and shelter. But what good is such a shelter to me if I choose to stand outside in the rain and cry? What use is the best fortress if I won't go inside and seek protection from the one who owns it?

So often, I think, I see the storm building, and rather than running inside and watching through fire-lit windows, I choose to stand there and sulk about the rain and cold. Oh, praise the Lord, who saves even the souls of those who don't have enough sense to walk through open doors! Praise the Lord, who comes out to meet me in the storm and carries me into the light!

Grace Notes

Let my life be a melody to my king
Full of the harmony of love and peace
Graced with notes of joy

Sometimes, as today, I wonder how I can spend so much of my life effectively blind to what God has done. He is not simply the creator of the universe, masters of stars and nebulae and black holes that spin the galaxies into shape. He braids he laws of physics around his fingers, and without him, nothing would hold together. Surely that is splendid, but it does not touch my heart.

Mystic Mountain - NASA

The earth itself is beautiful with a splendor that sometimes takes my breath away, when clouds edged silver by sunlight wrap the verdant green of the mountains against the bluest of skies, when the wildflowers sway in the field like summer's confetti, or the ocean rolls, full of light and dark and salt. It is beautiful and this does, in its way, touch my heart, but nature cannot save me, cannot fill me.

Photo by Michael Gabler

Then there are people, wonderful, beautiful people, who touch my life for good or ill, who take my heart and fill my hours. But they are flawed, as selfish as I am, as incapable of understanding and as deaf of heart at times. And though I love them, they cannot save me.

The Arena in Arles - Van Gogh

But, my God, not only has he saved me, but he has given me back my ability to enjoy everything else he has done. Because I am saved, I can love those who hurt me. Because I am filled with his joy and his strength and his peace, I cannot look at the sky and be struck breathless with awe at the beauty of what my God has created. Because I am loved, I can examine the laws that hold this universe together and see the glory of my Father. Everything I see, I see because he has put it there.

But I forget. Sometimes, I see the stars and do not remember what holds them in their places, I look on the mountains as only a feature of the land, and I see people as untrustworthy and not worth my time. This should not be possible, and yet, I have proved every day that it is so. So I pray today that my eyes will be opened and never closed to what my God has done, to his tremendous love and his faithfulness more constant that the sun. I pray that I will sing out the love of my God with every action, that, though there be grace notes, there will be no rests in my song.