Prayer for Focus in Spiritual Battles

Prayer for Focus in Spiritual Battles

Psalm 36:5-12; Psalm 38:1-6; Ephesians 6; Hebrews 12:28-29

Father God,

   I come before you in prayer with a grateful

and humbled heart for your marvelous and

unfailing love. Your precious love is far more

vast than my understanding, broader than the

sky above and higher than the mountains; all

encompassing.

You, O God, are righteous and just.

You are good.

You are my shelter and my provider.

You are the light by which I see.

   By your light, you make me able to discern 

the battles that are going on around me in this 

world. Let me recognize the schemes of the evil 

one so I can stand firm against them always 

turning toward you and not fighting as one 

boxing with shadows.

I depend on you, my God, 

for every victory, 

and in every failure, 

you are still my God who loves me.

  Help me to remember this, that I am yours. 

Strengthen me in your love, let your spirit grow 

within me until I am nothing but a reflection 

of you, a bringer of light in this world. May my 

focus be on you and on doing your work to 

your glory.

  Don’t let me be distracted by things that have 

no impact on eternity, by petty arguments or 

disagreements, by bad drivers or angry people, 

by distressing events or even by happy ones. 

  Take my focus away from myself.

  I refuse to believe in the lies of the enemy, 

the falsehood that my needs and desires are 

the most important, most urgent and must 

be fought for. I submit my desires to you. 

Help me to see what truly does matter in this life, 

what is precious and eternal amid all that is shaking 

and condemned to destruction.

  Show me what is worth fighting for. 

Then I will be able to stand firm 

armored in your truth and righteousness 

and peace and salvation and my faith in you 

will protect me from all the lies of this world. 

Your word will destroy every stronghold of deceit.

  I pray this for the men and women 

in my church, that the light of your love 

would guide us to see the reality of the

 world around us—the defeat of the enemy 

and the victory of your plan—and that we 

would walk with one another in love and peace. 

Strengthen us together so we can fight 

side by side, encouraging each other 

with the comfort you have given us 

in our suffering and trials, motivating one another 

to live as your daughters, saved by amazing grace, undefeatable!

  I pray that your church would not be distracted 

by the arrows the enemy is continually launching, 

no matter how fiery, but that our focus would be 

on the foundation, which is Jesus Christ crucified 

and resurrected, his victory over death, 

and his life eternal in which we will join him at the end.

  Make us a beacon of light and hope and love 

that reveals everything else as ephemeral shadows.

Amen.

Impressions of Mosul through the Eyes of an Observer

Bombs drop through hazy air
Onto streets already full of rubble
On homes and people
Huddled together inside walls
That fall and shatter and turn to dust
While outside the battle rages
They remain
Prisoners of their own law
Turned sour and rancid
Destroying hope and peace
In one swift move
The bullets fly
Across the water
A girl stumbles to the ground
The air, hot and dry,
Fills with smoke and sand
Thick as the choking lies
That make these men despise each other
Each life
And here is the safe place
Built on the rock
Creating a beachhead 
Untouchable, irrefragable
On the plains of Nineveh
The temporary is shaking to pieces
As the bombs fall
And only the permanent remains

All the Little Things

On December 19th, I wrote this entry in my journal: "I wish I could have some proof that there was purpose in the waiting, that my life still has importance... I want peace. I want rest. I want to be content in being alone. I have waited and struggled, dear God, and I am tired..."

I'm sharing this because, unfortunately, this is a place I have found myself in periodically over the years. I have come to realize it has nothing to do with my actual circumstances, and everything to do with what I am focusing on.

Here I am, two months later, in such an amazing place that the person who wrote those words could never even imagine what God had stored up for me. I'm heading into a situation that contains so many unknowns that I don't even know what I don't know. And I am perfectly at peace with it. I'm eager even to step forward and jump off the ledge. So I would like to give my future self some advice while I am still clear-headed. Maybe it will speak to you, dear reader, as well.





Dear Future Self,

Every single moment is worth something. Every day is a new layer of growth. This is difficult to understand. Especially for someone like me, who measures so much of my self-worth and value by what I do, the actions and forward motion, the big and shining firework events. But not everything can be fireworks, unless you want to burn out at once. And everything in life, especially the little things, add up to prepare me for the next step, the next mission, but that does not mean there is not a calling in the waiting. It means that sometimes I am called to silence---maybe so I can learn how to listen, or maybe so I can learn not to be shaken by it. Sometimes, I am called to be alone, and that does not mean I am worthless. It doesn't mean I'm not important. All it means is that there is some way I am meant to grow, something I am meant to learn or store up for the next stage.

And, yes, it is painful. And, yes, I know I'm still going to make mistakes. I may even panic at times. But I am not lost. I am only put in this place so I might feel my way toward God, knowing that he isn't very far at all. That feeling, that crawling and searching, is what strengthens my faith if I will let it, building muscle and reason because I know my hope is not in vain.

So next time a waiting period comes around, dear silly self, remember this: Love in the moment. Love who is placed in front of you and beside you to the best of your ability without expectation. Live for eternity. Don't focus on the temporal circumstances unless it is with gratitude. And listen in the waiting. The call of God is for everyone, but only those who are listening can hear it and respond, "Here, I am. Send me."

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying,

"Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?"

Then I said,

"Here I am! Send me."

Isaiah 6:8

Reaching for the Divine

I stretch empty hands

Reach for something to save me

There

Where time and space end 

A glimpse beyond the infinite

Enough

To disclose the unknown

To illuminate the unseen

Light brilliant 

Radiant

Divine

Unreachable

Hands

Stretch out for me

Reach past the dark to save me

There

Time and space are pierced

The infinite becomes small

Hope is born in a child

Merciful

Loving

Savior

I have no greater comfort than this

To know that Jesus Christ has saved me

He finds me when I am lost and alone

Forgives me when I am sinful

And has never left me forgotten or unloved

Waiting on Prince Charming

I grew up on fairytales. Not the Grimm kind, but the Disney kind. Where Prince Charming comes sweeping out of the dark to defeat imminent evil and save the princess. I loved it. I love that dashing kind of romance where true love is proved by action, not just words. As I got older I came to appreciate the kind of romance you find when Mr. Darcy helps Elizabeth Bennet's family, without telling her, because he loves her. It's the same kind of love that makes Jane stay with Mr. Rochester when he's blind and scarred. Great feats of self-sacrifice without demanding anything in return. True love. I want you to understand this before I tell you what I'm going to tell you next, so you know that really I do like the idea of falling in love and marriage and Happily Ever After, and if I were ever allowed to be I would be the soppiest kind of romantic possible.

I've never been kissed. Wait. Let me rephrase that. I've chosen not to kiss anyone until my wedding day. This isn't something new I just came up with. I made this promise (I like to think of it as a vow) when I was 13 years old. Yes, I've had boyfriends. No, I never kissed any of them, and I don't regret it. Because I don't want run-of-the-mill romance that begins and ends in the dating stage. I want the kind that lasts until I'm 80 and wrinkly, and he has gray hair (or no hair at all) and crazy eyebrows. And, believe it or not, girls, you can't make someone love you, by kissing them. Nor does the fact that he is kissing you prove that he is, in any way, in love with you. I could go on for quite a while on what love actually is, but I think I'll save that for another post.

In my own experience, and I've heard this from a boyfriend as well, taking out the physical part of the relationship makes it much easier to focus on who the other person actually is. There's no surprise there. Physical attraction dumps enough chemical signals into the bloodstream that adding a physical relationship as well can completely overwhelm whatever common sense things your brain is trying to tell you, putting you into a self-induced high. (This is one of the many reasons your friends and your family are probably a better judge of your date than you are.)

Okay. Don't panic. I'm not saying you have to follow in my footsteps. I know the idea of being nearly three decades old and never having kissed anyone isn't exactly ideal. But I do suggest you pick a line, a very distinct line, that you will not cross. Make a promise and, boy or girl, respect yourself enough to keep it. Society is going to tell you that you're a freak, and  your friends probably won't understand. So be prepared to stand up for yourself. You will save yourself so much trouble and heartache, and you'll be glad of it when you find yourself in your Happily Ever After.

On another note, I once joked that I would kiss whoever I wanted if I turned 30 and wasn't married. It was just a joke, people. I'm 17 years in, so I can't see going back on my promise now. I'm going to hold out for the real thing, and if it never happens, I'm okay with that. A bit disappointed, perhaps, because who wouldn't want someone performing feats of self-sacrifice for them, but okay. Better than okay, because one person already has sacrificed himself for me. And he is more than enough.

Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
Song of Solomon 8:7

Faith Is...

Faith is a word that is overused and, much like love, has lost its potency in the repetition. For many people, I believe it has become a vague, amorphous word used to describe anything from a general belief that things will turn out as they are fated to turn out to a belief in a random higher power to the conviction that the Christian God exists and works in our lives.

Those of us who are Christians are, I think, in danger of accepting this word, faith, in its watered-down version even when we read it in God's word. For instance, Hebrews 11, the famous Hall of Faith chapter begins, "Now faith is being sure of things hope for, the conviction of things not seen." This seems hopeful and happy and secure, but can you see it's power?

                Now faith is [being sure] of things hoped for...

[the assurance]

[the confidence]

[the substance]

[the basis]

[the substructure]

[the essence]

[the reality]

Hebrews 11:1

Faith is the most solid possible conviction that what we have placed our hope in is the truth and nothing less. 

Our faith is not simply a vague feeling or idea that what we believe is true. It is, in fact, the very evidence that unseen things do exist, that what we hope for is reality.

Faith is not something we come across on our own. It does not spring from rational arguments and scientific proofs. Although both can be useful in supporting faith they cannot cause it. We can have faith only because the Holy Spirit has graced us with the knowledge that God is real and merciful. And for this reason, our faith is not ungrounded, or irrational, a simple delusion that what we might wish to happen will be. Rather, by its very existence, our true faith is the proof that God is real and wishes us to know him.

It is not, by far, the only proof that God exists. But it is by far the most personal and convincing.

    "And without faith is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

Hebrews 11:6

This verse implies that two things must be present in true faith: the belief that God exists, not just any god, but our God as shown in the scripture, and the belief that he will reward us for seeking him. If either of these two beliefs is missing, then what we have no reason to hope for what we hope for (i.e. eternal life, salvation, mercy). If God does not exist, then he cannot save us. If he does not reward us for seeking him, then there is no point to trying because judgement will be meted out as he pleases without regard for our relationship with him.

There was another thing in this verse that struck me strongly, though I already knew it. Our drawing near pleases God. He isn't simply standing there, impersonally handing out trophies like a judge at a track meet. He is pleased to see us. Our desire for him brings him joy. He wants us to be close to him. And the way we get close to God is by that very faith with which he has blessed us!

Faith is not vague, it is not superstition, it is not irrational. Faith is the most valuable proof we have of God's love, and it should not be watered-down lest we forget just how powerful a tool we have by the grace of God. Soli Deo Gloria.

"And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets---who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight." - Hebrews 11:32-34

Quasar

When I was in high school, a band called the Smalltown Poets sang a song with these lyrics: There must be something else that all of this revolves around / I appear so small and barely make a sound / Still mysterious these frequencies they draw you out / Looking for some light, see what I'm all about / The rest of them are stars / I'm a quasar.

This caught my attention, as it may have yours, because quasar isn't a word you hear in everyday conversation. To be as brief as possible, quasars are QUASi-stellAR radio sources. They surround black holes at the center of certain galaxies and emit massive amounts of light along with radio waves. They are the some of the most luminous objects in the known universe.

Quasar 3C 273

Now, back to the song.

Obviously, as Christians, our light should be drawing people to study us and ask what makes us shine so brightly. We should be quasars.

But that's easier said than done. Philippians 2:14-15 gives us some good guidelines for shining. "Do everything without grumbling and arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world." 

 This is a verse I was often (read very, very often) reminded of as a teenager. As sometimes happens, this repetition has led me to sort of ignore this verse for the most part. I definitely haven't given it as much thought as I should have in recent years. But now that I am thinking about it, wouldn't it be spectacular to be around someone who never complained or grumbled about anything? I'm not talking about false smiles and such, but what about someone who actually had that sort of attitude? Wouldn't that be awesome? Wouldn't that make you wonder what that person had going on that made them so capable of serenity? It would make me wonder. And I'm supposed to be a quasar.

Another thing of note about quasars is that they don't draw energy from within themselves. Unlike like stars, they aren't burning fuel that is packed inside them. Instead, as far as people can tell at this time, quasars emit light and radio waves as a result of gases swirling around and being inexorably drawn into the black hole. Gravity and massive amounts friction come into play as well as event horizons and other astronomical physics things. If you understand all the maths involved, I applaud you. As far as this illustration goes, however, it's only important to understand that something else powers the quasars. They aren't just out there burning brilliantly by themselves. In fact, if the black hole gives out, the quasar dissipates. So if we want to burn bright like quasars, we have to be close, event horizon close to the source of our power. The closer we get, the more light we will shine. And, like stars drawn to black holes and astronomers drawn to quasars, soon we will start pulling other people closer to our God.

Bus Stop

Sitting at a bus stop on green plastic bench with countless globs of used gum stuck beneath the edge, the wind blows cold and gritty down the street, not at all hindered by the plexiglass shelter sporting badly spelled insults and out of date advertisements...if you are lucky enough to be at a stop that has a shelter at all. Waiting for a bus that may or may not get there on time. It isn't what I would consider a comfortable, or even a safe, place to be. Fortunately, stays at bus stops are inherently transient. They are waypoints, not end points of journeys.

This world is much the same. It is a waypoint, transient and not terribly comfortable. In fact, sometimes, it can be downright painful, sitting in the cold and waiting for a bus that you thought was supposed to be coming. It isn't where you want to be. It isn't home. And if that were all there was in this life, I would be hopeless to the point of despair. 

The greatest thing about this world is that it isn't all there is. We wait at bus stops because we have somewhere else to go. Somewhere infinitely more pleasant and warmer. Somewhere we are meant to be. It may take a while to get there. And while you are here, you will almost definitely end up on a route you hadn't planned on taking either because you read the little colored lines wrong or caught the wrong numbered bus or simply because whether you wanted to go there or not that was where you were meant to be. Certainly, it sometimes feels like you'll be here at this particular stop forever. But it isn't permanent. Nothing here is. And that is the greatest hope I have.

Hebrews 12:25-29

See that you do not refuse him who is speaking. For if they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape if we reject him who warns from heaven. At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.