Friday, November 13, 2015

Abandoning Christmas



What if we didn't celebrate Christmas at all? What if as an entire Christian community we decided to say, "Okay, World. This holiday is yours. Obviously, as many of you will no doubt point out, it was your idea from the beginning. So here you go. Take it back. We won't interfere with your decorations, your choice of greeting or your frenzied sales. Do whatever you like. We can't control you, and we don't want to."

I don't mean this to sound facetious. I wonder if we could actually do it, and I wonder how the world would change if we did. I think some Christians (and I myself have occasionally though this way) feel that if we abandon a holiday to the secular world, to their strange icons of fat men or giant rabbits, we will have lost foothold and given the enemy another beachhead in this vast war for souls. I would counter by asking what good we have done thus far in clinging to a tattered idea of a sacred day that has been warped to the point that it does not in any way resemble the grace and holiness that it was meant to celebrate. We forget, I think, that Christmas is a man-made celebration, and like everything made by men, it will go awry. God did not mandate that his people keep it sacred. He did not command, "Thou Shalt Remember Christmas and Keep It Holy." No. He did not. 

By the very appearance of Christ in human time and form, God was removing the obstacles and veils that separated the holy from the unholy. By the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, he allows us (the unholy) access to him (the most holy), every single second of every day of the year. There is no reason at all why December 25th ought to be more important than May 23rd or July 2nd. Jesus Christ was indeed born at a fixed point in time, but only so he could then save us all from the darkness and pain of death throughout the rest of eternity.

So what if we gave up Christmas? What if we abandoned it to the spoils of the world and concerned ourselves with other things? Honestly, I don't think the world would notice, except to sigh in relief as the whingeing and controversy dies away. But what if we took all the money and time and effort we spend on worrying and preparing for this one holiday and spent it on someone in our community instead? A homeless man, a heartbroken co-worker, a frazzled mother.

To clarify, I don't think celebrating Christmas is bad or wrong or somehow unChristian. We mean well. Honestly, I think, we do. But we are seeking in a human construction once again a sacredness, a sense of peace and belonging that only God can give.

Time, as I was reminded the other night, is precious. We have it in limited supply. We ought to give a great deal of thought to how and why we do what we do in order to avoid squandering what time we have. And it seems to me we could do a great deal of good if we stopped celebrating Christmas as a single day and started living as if the reason we were celebrating were actually and truly a part of our lives every day of the year.




So from me to you, have a very merry holiday season.





Friday, October 2, 2015

Reaching for the Divine



I stretch empty hands
Reach for something to save me

There
Where time and space end 
A glimpse beyond the infinite

Enough
To disclose the unknown
To illuminate the unseen
Light brilliant 

Radiant
Divine

Unreachable



Hands
Stretch out for me
Reach past the dark to save me

There
Time and space are pierced
The infinite becomes small
Hope is born in a child


Merciful
Loving

Savior




I have no greater comfort than this
To know that Jesus Christ has saved me
He finds me when I am lost and alone
Forgives me when I am sinful
And has never left me forgotten or unloved










Friday, August 28, 2015

Waiting on Prince Charming

I grew up on fairytales. Not the Grimm kind, but the Disney kind. Where Prince Charming comes sweeping out of the dark to defeat imminent evil and save the princess. I loved it. I love that dashing kind of romance where true love is proved by action, not just words. As I got older I came to appreciate the kind of romance you find when Mr. Darcy helps Elizabeth Bennet's family, without telling her, because he loves her. It's the same kind of love that makes Jane stay with Mr. Rochester when he's blind and scarred. Great feats of self-sacrifice without demanding anything in return. True love. I want you to understand this before I tell you what I'm going to tell you next, so you know that really I do like the idea of falling in love and marriage and Happily Ever After, and if I were ever allowed to be I would be the soppiest kind of romantic possible.

I've never been kissed. Wait. Let me rephrase that. I've chosen not to kiss anyone until my wedding day. This isn't something new I just came up with. I made this promise (I like to think of it as a vow) when I was 13 years old. Yes, I've had boyfriends. No, I never kissed any of them, and I don't regret it. Because I don't want run-of-the-mill romance that begins and ends in the dating stage. I want the kind that lasts until I'm 80 and wrinkly, and he has gray hair (or no hair at all) and crazy eyebrows. And, believe it or not, girls, you can't make someone love you, by kissing them. Nor does the fact that he is kissing you prove that he is, in any way, in love with you. I could go on for quite a while on what love actually is, but I think I'll save that for another post.

In my own experience, and I've heard this from a boyfriend as well, taking out the physical part of the relationship makes it much easier to focus on who the other person actually is. There's no surprise there. Physical attraction dumps enough chemical signals into the bloodstream that adding a physical relationship as well can completely overwhelm whatever common sense things your brain is trying to tell you, putting you into a self-induced high. (This is one of the many reasons your friends and your family are probably a better judge of your date than you are.)

Okay. Don't panic. I'm not saying you have to follow in my footsteps. I know the idea of being nearly three decades old and never having kissed anyone isn't exactly ideal. But I do suggest you pick a line, a very distinct line, that you will not cross. Make a promise and, boy or girl, respect yourself enough to keep it. Society is going to tell you that you're a freak, and  your friends probably won't understand. So be prepared to stand up for yourself. You will save yourself so much trouble and heartache, and you'll be glad of it when you find yourself in your Happily Ever After.

On another note, I once joked that I would kiss whoever I wanted if I turned 30 and wasn't married. It was just a joke, people. I'm 17 years in, so I can't see going back on my promise now. I'm going to hold out for the real thing, and if it never happens, I'm okay with that. A bit disappointed, perhaps, because who wouldn't want someone performing feats of self-sacrifice for them, but okay. Better than okay, because one person already has sacrificed himself for me. And he is more than enough.

Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
Song of Solomon 8:7




Friday, July 17, 2015

Speaking Grace

As a single woman, I've been hurt time and again by things that people have said clearly not understanding the weight of their words in an area where I'm already struggling to be content. Things like "Why aren't you married yet?", "Are you looking for someone?", "What you need to do is...". But even more than that, it's the unspoken but overarching sense of "I understand you, because I was single once, but you couldn't possibly understand me, because you've never been married/don't have children/etc."

I'm certainly not the only one who feels this way. There are numerous posts and blogs from people in all walks and places in life dedicated to the idea of what someone should or should not say to someone else. However, I don't want this to turn into one of those rants. Because the bottom line is this: I can't control what anyone else says or does to me.

So, to avoid unnecessary irritation, I need to focus on how I talk to other people and how I respond to people who say things that are hurtful, either purposefully or inadvertently, or prying or just plain annoying.

This is where mercy comes in heaps and handfuls. It isn't always easy to overlook an offense, but it's a lot easier when we consider the offenses that God has not simply overlooked, but wiped clean on our part.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.Ephesians 4:32 

Notice this verse doesn't say anything about someone asking for forgiveness. It just says to do it. Give mercy.

But what if someone really did mean to hurt me? What if it was intentional and spiteful and they are always doing the same thing?

Fortunately, it's quite simple, whether the slight was intentional or not doesn't make the least bit of difference in how I am supposed to react to it. I have one response to learn and to learn well. Forgive them.


"To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?" 1 Corinthians 6:7


"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

"For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." James 2:13

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

So that deals with the side of things where I'm the victim, but what if I'm the offender? What if I inadvertently say something that gives offense? Obviously, the best option is to try to avoid that situation. In a world where opinions are given unwanted and often unneeded, it isn't a bad idea for me to slow down, stop imagining that my answers are going to save the world from imminent doom, and speak grace, relying on God to give me the words that particular someone needs to hear.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29


"Let your speech always be graciousseasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Colossians 4:6 






Saturday, June 20, 2015

Assurance

I currently have the cheapest health insurance and car insurance that it is possible to have, meaning that if anything ever does happen, I'm going to have a pretty big deductible. That's okay with me. I'd rather save my money myself than rely on insurance to take care of me. Of course, when it comes right down to it, I'm not depending on my savings or my IRA either. Because there is one inherent flaw with that kind of insurance against disaster, namely that it relies on what I do.

The very word insurance implies that I must take some kind of step beforehand to ensure that I am taken care of if or when a disaster happens. And no matter how well I plan, there is no way I will ever be able to take every possibility into account. If I were capable of such a task, I have the feeling I would spend my time being so cautious and worried about what might happen that I would forget completely about living.

Wonderfully for me (and all of you), this isn't the way salvation works. God doesn't insure us against future disaster. Salvation isn't a contract of, "I give you this much, and you give me this much if such and such occurs under these given circumstances." If it were, I would, once again, be driven to madness by the worry of what might happen in the future. I mean, what if my premium isn't paid in full when I suddenly get hit by a bus? I know for sure the bill would bankrupt my eternity.

God doesn't deal in insurance. Instead, he has given assurance of salvation through the death and resurrection of his son, and in his sending of the Holy Spirit. Assurance, unlike insurance, does not require action on my part aside from acceptance. To assure someone, means to remove all doubt from their mind, to promise that what is hoped for will happen. A promise. From God. There isn't anything more solid than that. So I can rest in peace, knowing that even if and when the worst (illness, persecution or loss) does happen, I have the assurance of my God that he will take care of me, whether or not (more likely, not) I've met my deductible.

"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full of assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of faith without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:19-23

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Rails

Beliefs are the rails upon which our lives run.
We almost always act according to what we really believe.
It doesn't matter much what we say we believe or what we want others to think we believe...
That is why behavior is such a good indicator of a person's beliefs.
 - J.P. Moreland




   This made me stop and ask myself: what do I really believe? I know what I want to believe or what I say I believe, but if I look at my actions, what do they say I believe? The answer makes me want to flinch, because if I'm honest with myself, it's more than a little painful.

    If I truly believe a loving God is in complete control, not only of the universe but of my life individually, and if I completely trust him to take care of me and to work for the best in line with his perfect will, then I will be secure in where I am and what I am doing. I will not panic at unexpected circumstances, because I will know that while they were unexpected to me, God was not surprised, and his plan is still working as it should. I will not complain, because I would realize that the best growth comes through hard times and difficult situations, and, of course, that complaining never helped anything anyway. I will not cry out at the unfairness of life or lose myself in self-pity, because I won't be focusing on myself, I'll be looking to God. If I truly believe...

   But I do panic, I do complain, I do spend far too many nights crying because I'm alone, and life just isn't fair---and---and---

   So what do I believe? According to my actions, I believe that God cares about big things and great works, like countries and salvation, but not my every day, individual life. That somehow, in the midst of everything, I was forgotten, because I'm not important enough to merit the kind of attention that say, a missionary or civil rights leader, anyone with a more important calling than mine, would get. That because I'm not where I wanted to be, God must not care.

   And that's wrong. I know it's wrong. If God didn't care about normal, individual people, then none of my faith would make sense at all. It is my fault that my expectations were not where God wanted them to be. My fault and not God's that I was not prepared for my life to end up where it is. My fault that I don't look to him when I need help rather than looking down at the mire and bewailing my unlucky state. But how can I change beliefs that I didn't even know I had? I already know the truth. That isn't the issue. But how do I take what I know is true and make it what my heart (or my kidney, if you want to be Biblically accurate) believes?

   If beliefs are rails, then to change my beliefs, I'm going to have to do some heavy lifting. I'm going to need rails and ties, reason and time and a lot of prayer, and every time I start rolling down the tracks, I'm going to have to consciously move the switch, to say "I believe, help my unbelief!", to remind myself about what I know, until what I know is what I believe, and what I believe is what I do.






1. J.P. Moreland, "Living Smart," in Passionate Conviction: Contemporary Discourses on Christian Apologetics, ed. Paul Copan et al. (Nashville: B&H Publishing Group, 2007), 25.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Faith Is...

Faith is a word that is overused and, much like love, has lost its potency in the repetition. For many people, I believe it has become a vague, amorphous word used to describe anything from a general belief that things will turn out as they are fated to turn out to a belief in a random higher power to the conviction that the Christian God exists and works in our lives.

Those of us who are Christians are, I think, in danger of accepting this word, faith, in its watered-down version even when we read it in God's word. For instance, Hebrews 11, the famous Hall of Faith chapter begins, "Now faith is being sure of things hope for, the conviction of things not seen." This seems hopeful and happy and secure, but can you see it's power?


                Now faith is [being sure] of things hoped for...
[the assurance]
[the confidence]
[the substance]
[the basis]
[the substructure]
[the essence]
[the reality]

Hebrews 11:1

Faith is the most solid possible conviction that what we have placed our hope in is the truth and nothing less. 

Our faith is not simply a vague feeling or idea that what we believe is true. It is, in fact, the very evidence that unseen things do exist, that what we hope for is reality.
Faith is not something we come across on our own. It does not spring from rational arguments and scientific proofs. Although both can be useful in supporting faith they cannot cause it. We can have faith only because the Holy Spirit has graced us with the knowledge that God is real and merciful. And for this reason, our faith is not ungrounded, or irrational, a simple delusion that what we might wish to happen will be. Rather, by its very existence, our true faith is the proof that God is real and wishes us to know him.

It is not, by far, the only proof that God exists. But it is by far the most personal and convincing.

    "And without faith is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."
Hebrews 11:6

This verse implies that two things must be present in true faith: the belief that God exists, not just any god, but our God as shown in the scripture, and the belief that he will reward us for seeking him. If either of these two beliefs is missing, then what we have no reason to hope for what we hope for (i.e. eternal life, salvation, mercy). If God does not exist, then he cannot save us. If he does not reward us for seeking him, then there is no point to trying because judgement will be meted out as he pleases without regard for our relationship with him.

There was another thing in this verse that struck me strongly, though I already knew it. Our drawing near pleases God. He isn't simply standing there, impersonally handing out trophies like a judge at a track meet. He is pleased to see us. Our desire for him brings him joy. He wants us to be close to him. And the way we get close to God is by that very faith with which he has blessed us!

Faith is not vague, it is not superstition, it is not irrational. Faith is the most valuable proof we have of God's love, and it should not be watered-down lest we forget just how powerful a tool we have by the grace of God. Soli Deo Gloria.


"And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets---who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight." - Hebrews 11:32-34







Thursday, February 19, 2015

Hijacked


It has taken me a while to realize that the way I react to things happening in my life is not necessarily the way that I want to act. Given a calm environment, I know that my reason works competently enough that I could make a reasonable decision. However, add a little stress, a little hunger, a little sleep-loss and/or a whole blender-full of hormones and, suddenly, my reason becomes overwhelmed. Bad decisions aren't necessarily seen as good; they just aren't seen as decisions at all. In fact, I react as if I had no choice but to react as I do. And that is completely untrue. I don't have to react in any way, because I am a rational (mostly) human being who has the capability of making good decisions even if I am stressed or hungry or tired. So why don't I?

To put it simply, my brain has been hijacked...by my past decisions. The brain is very impressionable, and it assumes once you've done something several times that that is how you would always like to do it. It lays down the imprint, creates a map and starts traveling the same road until the ruts become trenches, then canyons. When this comes to things like riding a bike, tying your shoes or being able to drive to work without having to consciously think about what you're doing, this ability to maintain nueropathways is quite useful. When it comes to reacting badly to a slow driver, or stressing over work, or really any number of situations where I let my emotions take over...it's not so good.

The good news is that my mind (being a separate entity that controls the actual physical brain in a way that still mystifies scientists) is capable of retraining my brain so that the decisions that I make impulsively are good rather than...not so good. In order to do this, however, I have to be able to stop, realize that my brain is getting ready to plummet down that canyon road, and pull it over to another path before that happens. Sometimes, this feels very much like wrestling the wheel away from hijackers (emotional hijackers, who have some really good arguments and some really poor impulse control), and I think how much easier it would be just to let things run toward gravity. Easier, yes. Better, no.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Galatians ends the list of the fruit of the spirit with self-control. After all, if I am constantly working at being loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle and faithful, then I will have self-control. I will forge new paths to become roads that will turn into highways themselves. And I will be much more difficult to hijack.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Shine

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain."
Philippians 2:14-16

European Space Agency & NASA
 

This has never really been my favorite verse. As a child, it was liberally quoted to me by my parents, usually when I was complaining, which did not in all honesty make me any more likely to appreciate the truth of it. It's akin to the "children, obey your parents" verse that was also frequently referenced in my childhood. However, looking past all that, I've been thinking about this verse more and more recently.

I notice that Paul didn't write, "Do everything at home without grumbling," or "do not have disputes with your fellow Christians." He was, in fact, a little more broad in his instructions. And no matter how I look at it "all things" comes down to mean, basically, everything. Everything. So if I get stuck with an unfair assignment at work, or I have to stay late, or I'm in the long line at the grocery store and the lady in front of me can't figure out how to use her credit card, or I have to wait three hours for an oil change...those are all situations included in everything. In short, Paul is telling them to have a lifestyle where complaining simply does not exist...at all. The end result being that we shine.

Why? Because complaining is easy. Far easier for me than keeping my mouth shut and smiling.

So I tried it. I mean, I consciously decided I wasn't going to complain about anything at work. And, guess what? Life was so much easier. It wasn't that the situation was any better. I certainly could have used more help than I got, but somehow, it didn't matter as much as it usually does. I found that having made the decision, I turned to God more throughout the day, rather than just letting things ride.

It's amazing to me how I can have the attention, love and help of the God of the universe, who is beyond time and space, and I forget to ask him to work in me. Not just once or twice. I consistently forget that he is behind every good thing that I want to do, every worthwhile effort that I make. I don't think it's pride that makes me think I can get through on my own, because I know when I think about it, that I can't do it by myself. I do think it's habit. I have spent so much time focusing on myself, that I automatically look to myself for strength. And it just isn't there.

The best way to stop a bad habit is to replace it with a new one. So here it is. "Rejoice in the Lord always: again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7